I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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