On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
please don't ironically join a cult
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