Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
