we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Dicks are not precious.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
