what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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