is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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