i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Randomize
