She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
