I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
