I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Randomize
