Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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