Pregnant stripper...not hot.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Rumble strips road head = magical
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Randomize
