She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
