Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
