i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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