scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
