I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
