You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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