It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
