no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
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I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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