So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize