xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
