Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
