so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
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He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
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Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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