i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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