You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
that is very illegal...i love you.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
