Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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