So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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