He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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