sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
