Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Someone shit on the floor
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
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