i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
