Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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