I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
