You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
