So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
