I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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