if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
