oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
