I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
