think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
