I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
