honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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