What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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