All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
