I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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