DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Randomize
