There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
