he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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