You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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