I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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