I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
i now understand why vodka
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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