I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
How's work?
Spinning.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize