Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Your mouth is God's brothel.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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