My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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