Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
