Are we in a gay sports bar?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
