I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
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you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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