it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
