She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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