Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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