I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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