We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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