you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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